Tag Archives: parenting

Ian’s vocab

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My four year old Ian, I believe your vocabulary might be past your age bracket. Here’s the conversation we had today just before nap:

M: You’re playing with your Cars figures a lot today, do you like them?
I: Yeah, they’re cool.
M: Is that Mader? Is he your favorite?
I: Yes, it is. He’s a tow truck. He’s really big, do you see how big he is? But I like Lightening McQueen better.
M: Really? Where’s your Lightening McQueen car?
I: Well, I have several but none are available right now.

Uh, ok kid. I didn’t know you knew how to use the word available correctly. A few weeks ago you asked me if you could help carry the beverages downstairs. I love it, but I’m a bit surprised by your vocab skills!

Last night I finally got to put you to bed. Your sister is pretty attached to Mommy and usually cries if Mommy leaves the room, so Daddy gets to put you to bed most days. It was nice to read you a book, cuddle and talk in bed. We talked about when you grow up, you said you might want to have some kids.

M: When you get older you’ll probably get married and have kids.
I: Yeah, that sounds about right.
M: How many kids do you think you’ll have?
I: Probably nine.
M: (trying not to giggle or sound surprised) Oh? That’s a bunch of kids! Do you think Daddy and I could visit and play with them?
I: That would be ok. It might be nine four-year-olds.
M: Well, we’ll do our best to play then.
I: Ok Mom, you can go now.

So, I was shocked then dismissed in a matter of a few minutes. You also said some rough things that made me sad, that you love Dad more and that you don’t love me. I know we’re still working on the concept that you can love many people, and I know that Dad’s the cool one right now. I’m sure it will come around again, it always does, but it’s amazing how much that can hurt a Mommy’s heart even though I know where it’s coming from.

Regardless, you woke up this morning happy and amazingly independent. You got right up, went to the bathroom, got yourself dressed (looked pretty handsome too!) and then came in to wake Dad and I up at 7:30. You politely asked us to get up, cuddled for a few minutes and then wandered off. We got up to find you quietly coloring by yourself. It’s a drawing to send to Judi to thank her for the birthday train book she made you, I’ll post a picture of it below.

Ian's drawing age 4Ian’s drawing of three robots and a fire.

Overall Ian you are awesome and never cease to amaze me. Moving past three has been great, and so far four is better and I’m so, so glad. Less tantrums, a little less sassiness, replaced with talking back and some hurtful well articulated comments, but so many more I love you’s, funny sayings, loving comments and just fun. Four might be a challenge but so far I think it’s more fun than three.

I love you Ian James Myers.

Celebrating the amazing capacity of women?

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I’m cleaning out my email. One of my personal ones has 421 unread messages and 632 just hanging out in there. Ugh. It makes me feel cluttered. (At least it’s not work…there I confess I have 514 unread and a whopping 2,917 in my inbox. Holy hell!) In my quest to get our schedules lined up for the next few months, I got distracted by email volume. I swear, I was looking for an email about a birthday party…when I came across an email from Atheta. You know, a Gap brand. I love their work out wear. I envision myself wearing their cute outfits as I work out. Whenever the hell that will be. I walked a mile on the treadmill tonight. It was hard and it’s a huge accomplishment. Can I now justify buying cute new exercise pants? Maybe.

Regardless, the email subject made me stop. It’s “Power to the She: Celebrating the Amazing Capacity of Women”. I read it and did NOT feel inspired. I felt angry. Cluttered, stressed, overwhelmed and just plain angry.

As women we do have a huge capacity. To love, to organize, to keep things afloat, to keep people together, to get things done. But instead of celebrating our “huge capacity”, I’m trying to organize my digital life and our home life, plan two trips and get all four people in my household’s calendars merged. NOT an easy task. My dear husband is sitting next to me, playing a game on his computer. He’s shooting stuff as a space-age weirdo. Vegging out.

Not to say he didn’t earn it. Today he hung me beautiful new shelves in our bar for our SuperBowl party tomorrow (see?)Bar shelving, glass holder, liquor storageand helped to clean the whole house. Elia was high maintenance today and demanded to be held, so we each did our parts. But while he takes a break, I worked out and keep going with planning. Am I insane? Driven? Do I suck at relaxing? Nope, I think it’s that I’m a woman. I do not relax well, and I feel like waking hours are precious. Bill on the other hand is playing a game. Or bonding with his daughter? You be the judge.

Goofing off or bonding?

Maybe it’s better to be a man.

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I’m not sure how I should continue this. The next blogging issue I have to figure out is what I should and should not write about on here. The internet is a pretty public place, as I just shared with @dishkitty. She encouraged me though to remember that this is for me, and that I’m not trying to entertain anyone.

True, but I’m trying to to get in trouble too. 🙂

While this isn’t for work, I know that everything is connected. There’s no clear delineation between work and personal life anymore. And my husband is a much more private person than I am, and I’m trying to respect his wishes to keep a lid on some things. So I will, as much as possible.

Did I just say I was trying to respect Bill’s wishes? He’s putting Ian down for a nap right now. I seriously think he’s a better parent than me. Maybe a better person. I’m exhausted today. Busy, stressful, successful week at work and I’m just beat. So Bill has taken charge of child care today. I’m so thankful to have a wonderful, supportive partner in life. But seriously, I think he’s a better parent.

Is that an issue for a woman? I think that I’ve always expected I’d be good, maybe it’s a gender thing, but Bill is amazing and I didn’t see it coming. He can endlessly play trains and make it exciting, he can calm a tantrum in a few moments (where I normally escalate things, inadvertently of course). I’m pleasantly surprised and a little taken aback by our role shifting. It was harder when I was trying to decide if I’d stay home, or work, or if I’d work part time or full time. I expected to be able to do it all. Clearly, that is not the case. But Bill somehow seems to balance it all well. I’m not sure what that means, but for the moment I won’t dwell on it. I’m just thankful to have him.

PS – trying to figure out this tagging thing. I’ll get the hang of it at some point, but I just noticed it. Oops!